in which i just saw this
February 7, 2006, 6:47 pm

just saw this on doitalone's lj. and i have to respond.

Think back 10 years, how old were you?

i was 14 years old. i was a shy little kid, about to make the biggest change in my life. before i was fourteen i was very shy and introverted, i had never cursed, and the worst thing i ever did was steal a pack of baseball cards. i had very few friends, and i was convinced that i would be a comic book artist when i grew up. when i was fourteen, i got in my first musical play, and it changed my whole outlook on life. i wasn't shy anymore, and i found out i had more friends than i knew i had.

If you ran into yourself at that age, what would younger you say?

my younger self would be dumb founded that i didn't graduate high school, much less that i never went to college. he would say that he couldn't believe i lived at my parents' house as long as i did, and he couldn't fathom why i stopped drawing as much. he would probably be ashamed of me. he would hate the music i listen to. but he would be amazed that i play guitar, so much so that he would probably give up violin right then and there and pick up guitar instead.

What would you say back?

i would tell him to finish school, no matter the cost. at least high school. i would tell him to commit to finishing what he starts. i would tell him to NOT WALK AWAY FROM THAT GIRL. i would tell him to speak up sooner to her, as well, and to not bother chasing girls that are already taken. i would tell him that other people's opinions don't matter as long as he's happy with himself, but if he's unhappy with himself, to change. i would tell him not to spend so much time chasing pipe dreams, and that real money and happiness comes from picking something and becoming it. do one thing well and all the rest will come as it needs to. i would tell him to do whatever it took to get out of chaska. i would tell him to never turn left across a medianed intersection that doesn't have a light. i would tell him to keep those caricature jobs as long as possible. i would tell him that once he found a job, he could do well and enjoy, to do whatever he could within his power to keep it. i would tell him lots of little things that i've learned over time.

i made a lot of mistakes in 10 years, but i also made a lot of good moves. i got mired in a couple holes, and found my way out of other ones. i'm not sure whether my life is better now or not. but it's farther along, and i'm sure there are some words of wisdom i could have used back then, but who knows if i would've heeded them. i was a pretty cocky sumbitch back then.

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